전부 다시 써야합니다.
우선 우리 말로 <내가 무슨 말을 할 지>를 결정한 후
자신이 확실히 아는 쉬운 영어로 써보세요.

곽중철
  


> 친구 부탁으로 영작한 건데요.. 혼자 공부하는 상황에서 조언을 구할 사람이 없네요, 교수님 염치는 없지만 틀린 부분; 논리적, 문법적 오류가 있다면 지적 부탁 드리겠습니다.
> Now I'm working in the WonJu agency of AIG and I love my job that entails promoting our customers' lives with our policy, I take great pride in working for the most established company of this field.
> I am hoping to consult with you in regard to my job which comes to me as difficulty. I started working 5th November 2000 and left my position 15th January 2004, rejoined the company 20th April 2004. Therefore, I had to forfeit my customers after leave,so there now is a problem coming from being unable to handle the customers I had before, followed by their dissatisfaction expressed. And further, as far as I am concerned, this is undermining the fame of the prominent company, AIG.
> So with my returning to the position at AIG and with respect for policy makers in high places. I now make a request for regaining the customers who were under my contract to better serve them with confidence.    
> I hope AIG stays as the most eminent company with my endeavor to make it better.
> With best wishes
>
> 오랜만에 해본 영작인데 아주 재미 있네요.